


Can't Fight These Feelings

by savingprivatesimmons (black_twosugars)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, M/M, Mentions of violence/injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 21:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4035664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_twosugars/pseuds/savingprivatesimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Midnight, on the bridge. Come alone.”</p>
<p>That’s all the text says. No explanation, no reasoning, no more details.</p>
<p>It sends Gavin’s heart beating faster and his head spinning as he struggles to come to a solid conclusion to why the hell Ryan wants him alone so late at night. Fear comes with the thought of danger (although it’s accompanied with an unexpected sense of thrill), hope comes with the thought of important, emotional conversations (because let’s be real, Ryan’s a puzzle Gavin has always been enthralled with solving), but the pure, unadulterated curiosity is the emotion Gavin focuses on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Fight These Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SailorBryant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorBryant/gifts).



> Thanks [sailorbryant](http://sailorbryant.tumblr.com/) for the sentence starter prompt!

“ _Midnight, on the bridge. Come alone._ ”

That’s all the text says. No explanation, no reasoning, no more details.

It sends Gavin’s heart beating faster and his head spinning as he struggles to come to a solid conclusion to why the hell Ryan wants him alone so late at night. Fear comes with the thought of danger (although it’s accompanied with an unexpected sense of thrill), hope comes with the thought of important, emotional conversations (because let’s be real, Ryan’s a puzzle Gavin has always been enthralled with solving), but the pure, unadulterated curiosity is the emotion Gavin focuses on.

It’s 9:30 when he receives the text. Geoff, Jack, Michael and Lindsay are all quickly working their way towards intoxicated after a ‘successful’ heist, according to them. Ray doesn’t drink (he claimed he’d much rather play video games until 4am than watch everyone get drunk) and Ryan’s never been one for social gatherings; they both left after leaving their weapons at the Fake AH Crew base once they were sure the police hadn’t tailed them. Gavin’s nursing a beer, but he’s only sat in the armchair in the corner of the living room whilst the others chat jovially on the couch because he had almost fucking _died_ today. He has every right to not want to participate in celebrations.

After all, it had been Geoff and Michael’s combined carelessness that resulted in the bullet tearing through his right forearm. Jack had patched it up well and had provided him with an ample amount of painkillers – he’s always been an amazing doctor – but he’s still relatively pissed at them.

The wait for midnight is a nightmare. He does nothing but slowly drink his beer before grabbing an ice cold glass of water from the kitchen and taking a long drink from it. The painkillers and the alcohol have left his head feeling a little fuzzy and after the water and another few hours of relaxing in that chair, Gavin feels a lot better.

When 11:45 finally rolls around, Gavin doesn’t even bother excusing himself as he grabs his keys – everyone is too intoxicated to notice that he’s even leaving – before closing the front door behind himself and strolling off down the street.

Gavin knows exactly which bridge Ryan means; it’s the one a few minutes from Geoff’s house (more commonly known as the Fake AH Crew’s base of operations). The gradual transition from busy streets and bright, fluorescent lights to the dull glow of barely-working streetlights is a slow one, but Gavin’s grateful for the calmness the quiet brings.

After reaching the bridge, Gavin finds himself leaning against the chilling metal of the barrier separating pedestrians from the twenty foot drop down to the deadly icy depths of the slowly flowing river below. The cool breeze is gentle, ruffling his hair and refreshing him at the same time. The only light illuminating his surroundings is the orange haze of the streetlight beside him and the luminescent pale glow of the full moon from above.

As Gavin glances up, he’s surprised to find the sky clear enough that he can see the picturesque blanket of stars hanging over the neon, bustling city. A secondary school daytrip to an observatory is the only reason he can recognise Orion as one of the constellations in the sky. He spends a few more minutes connecting random dots in the never-ending abyss until he hears footsteps approach him from the left.

Completely wordlessly, Ryan leans on the railing next to Gavin and glances up as well.

It’s barely a few seconds before Ryan brings a hand up to take off the mask and hook it on his belt. Honestly, Gavin can’t help but stare. He’s privileged that Ryan feels comfortable enough around him to remove the intimidating skull mask and allow Gavin to see his face. He once said before that he covers his face so he can’t be read as easily and so he seems less human than anyone opposing him; if he can obscure his face then the black skull is what he’s recognised by so obviously people find that terrifying.

All it did for Gavin was leave him even more curious about the enigma surrounding his fellow crew member.

He’s only ever seen Ryan’s face on two other occasions; once on a failed heist which resulted in Ryan getting hit in the back of the head with a metal baseball bat. Jack had needed to take it off to loop the oxygen mask around his face so he didn’t struggle to breathe with the concussion he’d garnered from the wound.

The other had been somewhat intimate; he and Gavin had been sent on a drive to scope out a potential hit for a heist (some small-name bank up in Sandy Shores, a few hours out of Los Santos). After parking in one of the spaces in the convenience store opposite the building, they had been ordered to act as if they were taking a break from some long driving.

In the end, Ryan had bought them both lunch from the store and had taken off his mask just before entering. After eating, they talked for a good few hours whilst keeping an eye on the bank. They discussed things that somehow ended up a bit more personal than Gavin had anticipated, but he was ecstatic to unlock some of Ryan’s secrets.

They’ve been closer ever since.

And now, as Ryan finally realises that Gavin’s been staring at him for at least a good few minutes, he gives him a small smile and takes a deep breath to compose himself. Damn, whatever he’s about to say must be pretty heavy or emotional for him to struggle to say it.

Ryan’s never been exceptional with displaying his emotions so perhaps that’s why he asked Gavin to come late at night and alone?

Gavin waits with bated breath for Ryan to speak.

“I’m sorry for not protecting you well enough today,” he says quietly after a few moments of hesitation. “I’m sorry for getting you hurt.” He adds quickly, guilt written upon his features as he catches Gavin’s gaze.

Wow. Gavin had not been expecting that.

“Hey,” Gavin replies with a reassuring smile, gently resting his hand on Ryan’s forearm. He uses his left arm – the arm that hadn’t had a bullet tear through it earlier today. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“But-” Ryan starts, but he’s cut off with a stern frown on Gavin’s part.

“Michael was supposed to take those guys out but Geoff sent him off to do something else. If anyone’s to blame, it’s them.” Gavin informs in a more serious tone. He wants to tell Ryan how silly he’s being by blaming himself, but an idea for an action to shut Ryan up lingers at the back of his mind. He almost wants to do it, but thinks better of it. “Ryan, if you hadn’t shot that prick in the head then my worst injury wouldn’t be a bullet hole in my arm.”

The faintest of smiles graces Ryan’s handsome face as he recalls that particular incident. But then he shakes his head and the moment is gone. “I still feel like I could’ve done more to keep you safe.”

“It’s not your fault,” Gavin repeats, insisting his point more confidently this time. He squeezes his hand lightly around Ryan’s arm for emphasis. “Thank you for saving me.” Because he knows he probably wouldn’t even be alive had Ryan not killed the other guy – the bullet through his forearm had caused him to drop his gun, rendering him completely defenceless and weaponless.

“I’m just glad I could help,” Ryan replies with a simper after a few more moments of unsure hesitation. Catching Gavin’s gaze, he holds it for a few precious seconds before his expression turns a little more sincere. “I hate seeing you get hurt.”

“Ry, we’re an infamous gang of notorious criminals.” Gavin declares with a chuckle, leaning into Ryan’s side and bumping their shoulders together casually. When he’s done with the friendly action, he doesn’t break the contact between their sides. “There’s no way we’re gonna avoid getting hurt.”

Ryan bites his lip. “Okay,” he replies, totally unconvinced. Gavin _knows_ he wants to argue so he remains silent to give him the pleasure. “But whenever you’re hurt or upset, you give this little pained frown, and you always look away from your injuries like you’re too scared to see how bad they are, and you honestly looked about five seconds away from tears when you were shot today. You think I’m just gonna sit here and let that happen?”

Gavin’s chest constricts and he can’t help the quickening of his heartbeat as he listens intently to Ryan’s words. He’s never been very good at expressing himself and he’s never willingly let his walls of defence crumble before now.

Damn, Ryan must really care about him.

Gavin’s own feelings for Ryan are a little bit stronger and deeper than the protective friendship Ryan appears to be displaying, but the sentiment resonates deep within his soul. He’s never had someone so distraught about his own well-being and emotional state before.

However, as much as he wants to throw his arms around Ryan and hug him as tightly as his injury will allow, Gavin also doesn’t want to get his hopes up. Instead, he settles for playing it off as if Ryan’s feelings cover the whole crew rather than just Gavin.

“I never knew you cared about the crew so much.” Gavin says in an awe-filled voice. He knows it’s a shitty cop-out and he knows he’s avoiding his real feelings but Ryan’s being sincere and Gavin doesn’t want to make a fool of himself; especially not when Ryan’s never been so honest or genuine before.

Ryan sighs before smiling at the sweetly innocent and naïve Gavin. “Don’t get me wrong, I care about the crew,” Ryan replies, “but you’re really something different, Gavin.” Gavin raises an eyebrow and Ryan takes it as an encouragement to explain further. “You… well, you’re special.” Ryan confesses timidly, barely brave enough to glance up to take a look at Gavin’s face.

His eyes are wide and a half-smile is painted on his face – he’s transfixed on Ryan.

“You’re special too, Ryan,” Gavin declares, confidence from an unknown source spilling into his speech.

“I’ve never really, uh… I don’t really know what I’m feeling.” Ryan admits rather sheepishly, although he certainly seems confident that he means what he’s saying. “I never want to see you hurt or upset like that ever again. I care about you way too much to let you get in harm’s way when there’s something I can do about it.”

He stumbles over a few words endearingly and Gavin listens intently, hooked on every single word that flows imperfectly perfectly from Ryan’s lips. His heart lurches when he recognises those emotions conveyed through Ryan’s words and the feelings written upon Ryan’s beautiful face.

Gavin smiles and looks at Ryan; this view is far more spectacular than any tranquil night sky or glowing city skyline can provide. The icy blue of his eyes is sharper and more transfixing than the deep navy of the river below them; the golden blonde of his hair is infinitely more picturesque than the gleaming orange and yellow and crimson of the glaring sunset that once graced the horizon; his radiant smile is worth more than any amount they’ve ever earned whilst on heists.

Slowly, Gavin carefully leans forwards and brushes his lips against Ryan’s in a gentle kiss.

When Gavin tries to lean back to watch the emotions unfurl on Ryan’s face, he’s stopped by a hand clasped around the wrist of his left arm. Ryan’s staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips.

Gavin knows that expression well. Ryan is slowly comprehending the true meanings behind his feelings and, in true Ryan fashion, he has no idea how to verbally express himself.

When he realises what he’s done, Ryan instantly drops Gavin’s wrist and apologises, cheeks flushing red as he looks away nervously. He takes a few moments to compose himself before letting himself glance back up at Gavin, catching his gaze again.

“You really matter to me,” Ryan says quietly, and Gavin fights back a shiver when he feels Ryan’s warm breath on his face. He smells slightly of mint and Gavin smirks when he thinks of a way he could find out. “I guess now I know why.”

He matches Gavin’s cheeky smile with a fond one of his own before leaning in and capturing Gavin’s lips in another, firmer kiss.

Gavin could have worried about being tired the next day, could’ve worried about Geoff wondering where he’s gone or whether they’re going to trash the house, but he doesn’t. The only thing he cares about in this moment is Ryan’s warm, solid body pressed against his own as he kisses him sweetly under the dim artificial orange glow of the streetlight and the iridescent luminosity of the moon. And honestly? Gavin couldn’t have even dreamt of a better way to spend the night. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr at [savingprivatesimmons](http://savingprivatesimmons.tumblr.com/)!!


End file.
